A LETTER FROM CHRIS SUAREZ

ONE OF THESE THINGS IS NOT LIKE THE OTHER

As the year wraps up our social feeds tend to get filled with picture perfect families, meals that look like they were prepared by professional chefs, business accomplishments that seem almost impossible, vacation photos seemingly lifted from professional travel photographers, and photos of bodies that look only possible with a fun afternoon playing with an AI image generator, I’d like to keep things in perspective. 

Now this isn’t a blog condemning those posts, or voicing an opinion on them. I don’t have an opinion on sharing accomplishments publicly. I support goal setting and almost anything that helps us move towards that goal and achieve them. If public accountability and acknowledgment is a key to that, please continue. There is great value delivered to many based on those goals and photos.

I do think it important for us to remember that the majority of what we see isn’t real. There is a story behind it, there is a reason for the post or share, there is always an agenda. Again, the story, the reason, or the agenda may be a positive one. But acknowledging that there is one is healthy. We are creatures of comparison. It is hard to look at a photo of a relationship and not place ours side by side and judge. It is hard to look at a photo of  a business and not place ours side by side and judge. It is hard to look at a photo of a happy family and not place ours side by side and judge. We might judge our own, or judge theirs. Either way, it’s unhealthy.  

There is so much research being delivered about the negative effects of social media on our children. It has been linked to low self esteem, decreased self worth, contributory to poor mental health, and destructive to teenage friendships. Kids can look at their life and compare their situation to what they see others doing, see others having, and how others look. It’s overwhelming. As parents we jump in to deliver the message of reality versus social media. 

But those side effects are not partial to teens and pre-teens.  Social media has the ability to cause those same effects on all adults. Remember social media is just that - media. When was the last time you felt comfortable believing mainstream media- fact-checked or not? We actively protect our children or the younger generation from social media, and digest it as adults every morning, evening, and apparently middle of the day. The latest statistics show that the average American spends two hours and thirty minutes a day on social media. That’s about 864 hours a year. That’s about 36 days a year - or just over a month of your entire year. What if we spent that month on doing instead of comparing. We spent those 36 days with people we loved, we invested those 36 days into our business, we used those 36 days to get healthier, or did anything other than people watch on our platform of choice. 

I am certain there is some positivity in comparison. It’s part of what drives innovation, the development of decision making, and a base of some mental models. But social comparison based on snapshots of moments in someone else’s life is fire you are better off not playing with.

So go ahead and thumbs up the photo. Heart that post. Leave a comment of congratulations or support. But don’t place your life alongside of or on top of any of those photos looking for the similarities, the differences, or what’s missing.  This is not a game of “One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other”.

Chris Suarez